Jim Guigli, a retired mechanical designer who lives in Carmichael, California, recently won the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest—a distinction that many writers would just as soon avoid. The award, sponsored by the English department at San Jose State University, is given annually for the worst opening sentence of a novel.
Guigli wrote, "Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean." The winning entry was one of sixty-four the writer submitted.
Entries to the contest must be single, unpublished sentences of any length, and are accepted year-round. For more information, including the text of other entries, visit the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest  Web site.